The Anger Room: Beware the Ire of March
No, it's not an underground fight club. Instead, I’m suggesting you head to an office and destroy it.
In Dallas, Texas, a woman is charging clients to enter a fake office called The Anger Room and trash it like a Nicolas Cage hotel room. You can watch The Anger Room's commercial here.
It’s basically a cathartic dream come true for so many people who lead lives of quiet desperation.
Just ask the Anger Room’s founder, Donna Alexander. She used to be a wage slave in a call centre where customers yelled abuse at her. After years of bottling up her stress and anger, in 2008 she opened The Anger Room as a release valve for people’s fury.
“You’re not crazy, just angry and we’re here to help,” says her website.
It goes on to say the Anger Room is “an alternative to seeing a ‘head doctor’ or talking it out when you’re having a bad day. We believe that sometimes it’s better to just do what you feel and lash out… without judgment, consequences or public humiliation.”
Here’s how it works:
Step 1: You get on The List for a ‘session’. Next day appointments are available.
Step 2: Fly into the Dallas Fort Worth International Airport, then taxi or drive to a secret address in North Dallas (The Anger Room’s physical address is “only disclosed to clients who participate in the Anger Room activities”)
Step 3: When you arrive for your appointment, Alexander hands you a hard hat, face mask, safety gloves, an aluminum bat covered in duct tape, and a five-iron golf club.
Step 4: You take your fury into the ‘destruction zone’ which could be a faux office, kitchen, or living room.
Step 5: Enjoy a bit of the old ultra-violence by swinging your bat, fist, or kung-fu kicks at old computers, printers, desk, TV sets, desk lamps, and fax machines (reminiscent of that hilarious revenge scene in Office Space). You even get to beat up a headless mannequin. All while Alexander cranks up the volume on Metallica’s ‘Kill ‘Em All’.
Sessions come in three time options:
“I Need a Break!” -- 5 minute session. $25
“Lash Out” -- 15 minute session. $45
“Total Demolition” -- 25 minute session. $75
You can buy more time in 5-minute increments, in case there’s more rage boiling in you than 25 minutes can possibly release (e.g., if you’re a long-suffering Leafs fan). That said, anger is tiring work and Alexander says most people never make it past 11 minutes a session. Oh, and click here to get a Dallas Groupon discount.
There are some rules. The Anger Room says no kids under 18, no pregnant women, no team or duo appointments (i.e. due to insurance reasons, you must smash the room solo), and they won’t allow pets. But as their website says, they may allow pets in the future because “pets have anger too!”
Since she opened in ’08, Alexander has had 300 clients who include lawyers, hospital employees, executives, restaurant employees, psychiatrists, and their patients.
If Dallas is too far away for you, and you wish there was an Anger Room in your home town, ask Donna if you can open up a local franchise.
But definitely do NOT open one without asking. Trust me on this one…you don't want to make The Anger Room angry.
-- Ken Hegan
Bing: What's anger good for?
If you go:
Here are flights to/from Toronto to Dallas on the St. Patrick's Day weekend
Thanks to NBC 5 in Dallas