"See this toilet? Madonna used it," she said proudly.

It was early morning in Tel Aviv. I'd flown there for the nightlife, and was nursing all my hangovers at the deluxe Dan Hotel.

On their website, the Dan bills itself as "the first luxury Tel Aviv hotel in Israel’s first Jewish city" and boasts that it's "justly renowned for its prime location overlooking the Mediterranean and splendid beaches edged by the city’s famous seafront promenade bustling with happy strollers." [luxury hotels loooove their adjectives]

When the hotel's publicist offered to give me a tour of the penthouse suite, I naturally assumed she was letting me join a secret poker game played by high-rolling monarchs, rock stars, and prime ministers.

Imagine my sigh of disappointment when the suite was empty and she showed me Madonna's toilet instead. And Madonna wasn't even sitting on it at the time.

When my brother Luke told me he was driving to Mongolia, I assumed he meant the Mongolian restaurant on Assembly St. After all, this was coming from a guy who, until he moved to Edinburgh five years ago, would not even rent a car in a foreign country for fear of shearing off yet another side mirror.

But after seeing his Mongol Rally preparations unfold over the past few months, I've come to accept that on July 14 the younger Bisby really will join two of his University of Edinburgh engineering department colleagues, Scotland's Craig Warren and Germany's Steffen Kahrmann, on a 15,000-kilometre road trip from the Scottish capital to Ulan Bator. Squeezed into a 1.3-litre Suzuki Ignis dubbed "Agnes" (pictured below) -- and with disturbingly little rally experience between them -- the trio will cross some decidedly dodgy territory, including several "stans" (Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan, Kazakhstan), Siberia, and finally Mongolia.

So I don't really care who Aubrey O'Day is.

According to the Internets, she's an American singer, actress, fashion designer, and former member of the girl group Danity Kane. Plus Donald Trump fired her from his reality show Celebrity Apprentice.

I only mention O'Day, 28, because this week she Tweeted a pic of her chilling out with her dogs. On an airplane, and in first class, no less. Here's the photo:

Look how happy her dogs make the passenger behind them.     Photo via Instagram/Aubrey O'Day 

You might be wondering 'How did O'Day sneak her dogs on the plane? Did she hypnotize the airline staff into believing her pooches were members of the cabin crew?'

Nope. According to TMZ (so it must be true), a rep for Virgin Airlines said she was cleared to bring her dogs aboard their plane because they are registered as "Emotional Support Animals."

Ever check into a hotel, only to realize you've forgotten to pack something important like your underwear,  tampons, or your least favourite offspring?

Used to happen to me on every second trip. Not anymore. Now I use this failsafe interactive packing list, courtesy of the good people at IndependentTraveler.com

Well, I assume they're people. Their packing list is so exhaustive, it might've been generated by really thoughtful robots.

Oh Canada / Our home and native land / Trip deals galore / For your long-weekend plans / Until July 1, from websites and chains, Ca-na-da is the theme / So pick a spot, and point and click, to save a bunch of green...

This week's podium (with apologies to patriotic purists):

GOLD: Until July 1, Starwood Hotels & Resorts' Canada Day sale cuts as much as 30 per cent from room rates at dozens of Westin, Sheraton, Four Points by Sheraton, W, Aloft and Le Méridien hotels across the country. Valid for stays through Aug. 6, rates start at $75 a night at 54 properties, ranging from the Westin Bear Mountain Golf Resort & Spa in Victoria (pictured below, from $165 a night) to the Sheraton Hotel Newfoundland ($167). Various blackout dates and varying availability are in effect.

Remember that guy who danced goofily around the world?

Matt’s back with his 4^th dancing video. But unlike so many sequels, Matt’s deadly-dancing films are getting better.

The concept for his first films were simple and low-tech: Matt did a silly dance in front of international landmarks and street scenes, all around the world. Picture 100% joy, and very little dialogue.

Matt's first video was shot on a shoestring in 2003 and featured his peculiar, ape-like dance in countries like Vietnam, India, Russia, and Kenya. His second round-the-world dance film, ‘Dancing’ a.k.a. Where the Hell is Matt? 2006 has been watched over 17,661,917 times.

Heard about the vacuum tubes that will/maybe/hopefully/kinda/possibly/some day revolutionize how you travel?

The technology's called Evacuated Tube Transport (ETT). It's basically a bunch of vacuum-packed capsules that look like the Tube Transport System you see on Futurama, and the vactrains in Logan's Run, Space: 1999, and Star Trek: The Motion Picture.

If you've never seen those shows, imagine 6-person bullets that shoot you safely from city to city at speeds of 600 km/h locally, and 6,500 km/h between international cities.

Here's a short animated video that explains how tubes can deliver cartoon people from New York to Los Angeles in just 45 minutes.

I love the mysteries of travel. Every time I arrive at a new airport, I'm bursting with questions.

Will I get nice weather all week? Are the beaches as pretty as the pictures? Is this a real airport shuttle bus? Should I really be climbing into a creepy windowless panel van? What's that toe-curling smell? And why are there handcuffs attached to all our seats?

I can't be the only one who's arrived in an airport, exhausted, then gambled on an airport shuttle van that might be (A) deadlier than the accommodations in the horror film Hostel or (B) more expensive than my entire flight. Also no fun: asking for help (in a foreign language) at an 'information desk' that may just be another taxi service.

Fortunately Mozio is here to help.

Sometimes it's nice to score a bargain when you already know where you're headed. Other times, having the deal in your back pocket, and then choosing your destination, is unadulterated bliss. Either way, this week's podium has you covered:

GOLD: Let's cut to the chase here: However touchy-feely it may be, Fairmont Hotels and Resorts' "Everyone's An Original Summer Offer" delivers serious savings at scores of properties around the world. Book a multi-day visit before July 3 (for stays until Sept. 30), and you get a free night or a $150 hotel credit toward dining, golf, spa time etc. The free nights generally deliver better value -- what with the upscale chain's high-end pricing -- with dozens of hotels and resorts, from the Fairmont Empress in Victoria, B.C. (pictured below) to the Fairmont Beijing, offering up free stays after paid bookings as short as two nights.