Clever Segway to Sedona, Arizona
In my travels, I've discovered that baby boomer men like the following things:
- Taking both armrests on airplanes
- Renting sailboats in Florida so they can float up to watch a seaside Jimmy Buffett concert
- Staying at all-inclusive resort in Cabo and buying souvenir shirts that read "I fear no beer" and "One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, FLOOR"
- Wearing Crocs and Tommy Bahama shirts to the opera in Vienna
- Sending unsatisfactory meals back to the kitchen, even at roadside Caribbean street meat stands
- Taking their wives on winery tours, and then tasting wine really slowly and smacking their lips like they saw in the movie Sideways
- Wearing collared dress shirts with the Led Zeppelin logo on the back (with optional front breast pocket to hold their harmonica)
- Riding two-wheel Segways on tours of every city on the planet
For that last reason alone, I've avoided Segways.
I figured Segways were built for two reasons:
(a) so we could force monkeys to find land mines in war-torn countries
(b) as a public service to people who refuse to use their legs anymore due to old age or sloth
Now I'm pleased to report that, man, was I ever wrong.