Victoria Day is the least reliable of Canada's statutory holidays. Where do you think the punny quip "It’s been raining longer than Queen Victoria" comes from?

Canada Day, the Civic Holiday and Labour Day are reliably sunny and warm (two out of three ain't bad, right?). And Christmas Day and/or Boxing Day? Let it snow.

But just about anything is possible, weather-wise, on the third Monday in May. Now, I know the GTA forecast for this weekend is generally sunny. But clouds are predicted for the holiday Monday, and where there are clouds, there's rain, and it seems like every May two-four that precipitation moves into the weekend, and then...wham! You're stuck in Ikea with a shopping cart full of bjornlokas you don't even need or want, surrounded by surly youngsters who have maxed out their Smaland privileges.

That's why I'm glad I have Legoland (pictured at left) in my back pocket.

"If you give back, you'll get back."

That, in a nutshell, is the message Céline Cousteau aims to convey through her marine conservation partnership with Contiki Tours.

The international tour operator, which caters to 18- to 35-year-olds, is one of the founders of TreadRight, a not-for-profit group that oversees various sustainable tourism projects and fosters the preservation of popular tourist sites such as the Giant's Causeway in Northern Ireland and the Grand Canyon. You may recognize Cousteau's last name -- she's the granddaughter of legendary French oceanographer Jacques Cousteau -- but she's also an accomplished environmental activist in her own right, having founded, among other projects, CauseCentric Productions, a non-profit that aims to help other organizations communicate their messages through film.

"With the experiences I have," Cousteau, 39, explains -- visiting remote tribes in the Amazon rainforest (pictured above), diving with manatees and humpback whales, the list goes on -- "I play a role in helping Contiki tell the story they want to tell. They have the means" -- thousands of young, energetic, eco-minded customers, as well as access to funding -- "and I have the content."

I had a chance to chat with Cousteau about sustainable tourism leading up to her speaking engagement at last weekend's Green Living Show in Toronto:

So this is strange and fantastic:

A hotel in Kenya, Giraffe Manor, gets its name from the spotted looky-loos who stick their tall necks through the hotel windows when they want to chow down.

Imagine you're staying at this unique hotel and sitting in the sun room for breakfast. You're huddled over your espresso, trying to wake up after a pleasurable night of gin and tonics. You're yawning, stretching, downing your orange juice, and tucking into your breakfast croissant, when suddenly --

 A new California-based startup, FlightCar, is offering free airport parking. Plus when you get back from your holiday, your car will be spotless and you'll get a $10 gas card.

The only catch? While you were sipping margaritas on a beach, a stranger was driving your fire red 1971 Cadillac Eldorado convertible.

Yep. I'm not making this up. FlightCar gets you to hand your car keys to a stranger, who hands them to another stranger who then drives your "sweet ride" away.

On the lookout for huge bats in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

Basically it's a matchmaker service for someone flying out of an airport who doesn't want to pay $30/day for parking, and someone flying into the same airport who's too lazy to steal a car.

Benefits for the car owner:

Free airport parking, free carwash, free valet, fully insured, and your vehicle is covered for mechanical damage caused by misuse and gonzo driving. Plus you get the satisfaction of knowing that your special bum cheek dents in the driver seat will stay filled while you're away.

Movies made me fall in love with San Francisco. Five of my favourite films were shot there:

#5) Harold and Maude

#4) Bullitt

#3) The Maltese Falcon

#2) The Game

#1) So I Married an Axe Murder

[not to mention Vertigo which I'll cover below].

 Each of these films make the city feel misty, romantic, dangerous, and gritty.

Last week I had a chance to visit San Francisco on my return from Huatulco, Mexico. It would be a super-short layover, though, just 10 hours from landing to takeoff. That's the same length of time that Tom Cruise had in Collateral to taxi around L.A. and whack people like they were chores on his 'To Do' list.

I've liked every San Franciscan I've ever met, so I couldn't think of anyone I wanted to whack. Alas. But San Francisco is too sexy a city to miss.

Here's a fantastic travel contest for you:

Imagine winning a six-month holiday on six continents, in which you visit your choice of destinations (all expenses paid), and receive a grand prize of $50,000 (US) when you arrive home again.

It's called The Biggest, Baddest Bucket List contest and it's staged by the U.K. travel site, Mydestination.com, in partnership with Hotels.com, Travelex, and Viator.

Strolling through a gator swamp? Cross it off your Bucket List. Photo by Erik Buraas, Mood Board / Rex Features

To enter, you must shoot and deliver one (1) original video, no longer than 3 minutes, that passionately describes your Bucket List destination.

If the end of the world really does go down on Dec. 21 -- as predicted by ancient Mayans (well, not really), New Age types and that exuberantly bearded gentleman rifling through my recycling -- it will put a bit of a damper on what has become a flourishing niche: apocalypse tourism.

After all, who wouldn't want to bid farewell to life, the universe and everything atop a spectacular mountain, in an awe-inspiring temple, or in a dank Soviet bunker? Indeed, it seems the only thing more varied than the doomsday theories attached to 12/21/12 -- interplanetary collision? Spiritual transformation? The Coming of the Great White Handkerchief? -- are the locations believers are flocking to for the big day.

One of the most popular spots, apparently, is the ancient city of Tikal in Guatemala (pictured below). Not only was it once a Mayan metropolis, but the archaeological site played the planet Yavin 4 in Star Wars: Episode IV. (In case you have a life and don't already know, it was from Yavin 4 that the Rebel Alliance launched its attack on the Galactic Empire's Death Star.)

The Death Star was capable of destroying entire planets. Armageddon would destroy our planet. Ergo, the place is reportedly crawling with wannabe Jedi knights and crystal-wearing weirdos. Heck, just last week park guards reportedly had to apprehend 13 naked women who were dancing and chanting around a fire pit near the temples. 

photo credit: chensiyuan/wikipedia

My pulse raced when I saw it gleaming in the late-morning sun.

I have always wanted an Airstream RV -- those curvaceous aluminum caravans made famous in Tom Robbins' Skinny Legs and All -- and there, nestled amongst the barbecues, patio furniture and bean-bag chairs on display at the Aeroplan loyalty program's annual media showcase, was the trailer of my dreams (pictured at left).

I could hardly wait to blurt out "How many Miles for the Land Yacht?" as I sidled up to the check-in desk in Toronto's cavernously cool Airship 37 event space.

If I was a bit brusque, then I may have deserved my hosts' smiling reply: The RV was merely for show, its adorable little kitchen churning out hot chocolate for media guests.

This was not the answer I was looking for, but my bitter disappointment was soon tempered by 1) a large mug of marshmallows with a thin undercoating of hot chocolate, and 2) a range of new loyalty-program rewards that even smelled nice.

WHOA: I just found out you can rent an entire tropical island for the price of a Hello Kitty watch.

Yep, not just a room, not just a house, but an entire Caribbean island with a house...and it's the only one on the whole island.

An insanely good deal. Let's face it: for $130/night, you can't rent over 90% of the hotel rooms in New York City. Hell, you can't even rent most Manhattan hotel bathrooms for $130. And man, have I ever tried.

This incredibly affordable tropical island is called Sandy Cay and it's about the size of a football field. It's located 1/2 mile (800 metres) off the west end of Utila Island, which itself is located about 18 miles (29 kilometers) north of the town of La Ceiba, on the northern coast of Honduras.

Granted, it takes initiative to get to Sandy Cay...this isn't some quickie flight to a Cancun all-inclusive 2-star. But the travel's all worth it when you take command of your private island.

No matter how fantastic the new James Bond movie is, there's no way it can justify the new "Shaken Not Stirred: Bond On Bay" package from the Trump International Hotel & Tower Toronto.

There's nothing wrong with a 007-themed hotel getaway. They've been popping up all over -- in Switzerland, Tokyo and especially London -- ahead of Skyfall's theatrical release (tomorrow in North America).

As a Bond fan, I might even consider partaking. The skier-friendly Swiss offering, for example, dubbed "On the Track of 007" by the Jungfrau Region tourism board, includes a hotel stay with dinner in the Alpine town of Mürren, and excursions to the mountaintop Schilthorn-Piz Gloria restaurant -- as featured in 1969's On Her Majesty's Secret Service -- for a "James Bond breakfast" (007's favourite dish is said to be scrambled eggs, after all.) The price? $150 and up.

On the other hand, I would not consider partaking in the Trump Toronto offering. Why? Because -- wait for it -- it costs $17,007!

Granted, that's not just a really pricey (and numerically relevent) rate for a two-night stay in the luxurious and gargantuan Executive 30th Floor Suite (pictured below).