Here's some breaking (eardrum) news:

Last Thursday, an American Airlines flight left LAX in Los Angeles at 3:30 pm. The flight was bound for JFK in New York. But at 6:06 pm the plane had to make an emergency landing at Kansas City International Airport. 

Apparently the flight crew was concerned about a terrorist on board. And by that, I mean an unruly passenger who would not stop singing Whitney Houston songs.

In this passenger-shot video, you'll see the unnamed woman singing Houston's big hit "I Will Always Love You" as she's yanked from her imaginary spotlight.

"The woman was being disruptive and was removed from the plane for interfering with the flight crew," airport spokesman Joe McBride told KCTV news. "There was a federal air marshal on the aircraft, who subdued the woman and put her in cuffs and removed her from the plane."

Very cool!

Virgin Airlines has built a professional recording studio for musicians travelling through Heathrow Airport. 

So while you wait for your flight to Nashville, New York, or L.A., you can record an album, edit and mix it, then email or upload it to your producer who's been desperately waiting for your hit record. 

And why not? The Beatles had their White Album, you can have your Wait Album.

Virgin's unsupervised, industry-standard studio opened in May in their Clubhouse lounge...which is restricted to their Upper Class passengers and Flying Club Gold members, a.k.a. The Already Rich and Famous.

The Clubhouse is certainly a sweet lounge to hang your fur hat in. It offers you hot stone therapy, old-school vintage video games, and eyebrow tinting in their spa.

My pulse raced when I saw it gleaming in the late-morning sun.

I have always wanted an Airstream RV -- those curvaceous aluminum caravans made famous in Tom Robbins' Skinny Legs and All -- and there, nestled amongst the barbecues, patio furniture and bean-bag chairs on display at the Aeroplan loyalty program's annual media showcase, was the trailer of my dreams (pictured at left).

I could hardly wait to blurt out "How many Miles for the Land Yacht?" as I sidled up to the check-in desk in Toronto's cavernously cool Airship 37 event space.

If I was a bit brusque, then I may have deserved my hosts' smiling reply: The RV was merely for show, its adorable little kitchen churning out hot chocolate for media guests.

This was not the answer I was looking for, but my bitter disappointment was soon tempered by 1) a large mug of marshmallows with a thin undercoating of hot chocolate, and 2) a range of new loyalty-program rewards that even smelled nice.

Planning your escape from the harsh dark winter months?

Here's a fun way to sprint towards the light:

RUNNING TOURISM 

Basically you fly into a beautiful part of the world, dress in a freaky costume, and compete in a strange and amazing race. 

I did it last fall when I flew to Bordeaux, France to compete in the Marathon du Medoc wine-tasting marathon. Thousands of us dressed like animals then ran a full 26-mile marathon through some of the world's finest vineyards. At the water stations, they served us red wine and cheese. Huge fun.

Now a California outfit is organizing a tour of trippy, electric, overnight running races. On November 30th, the last day of the most wretched month of the year, you can dress like a raver in Orange County, California and compete in the Electric Run.

In my travels, I've discovered that baby boomer men like the following things:

1. Taking both armrests on airplanes
   
2. Renting sailboats in Florida so they can float up to watch a seaside Jimmy Buffett concert
   
3. Staying at all-inclusive resort in Cabo and buying souvenir shirts that read "I fear no beer" and "One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, FLOOR"
4. Wearing Crocs and Tommy Bahama shirts to the opera in Vienna
   
5. Sending unsatisfactory meals back to the kitchen, even at roadside Caribbean street meat stands
   
6. Taking their wives on winery tours, and then tasting wine really slowly and smacking their lips like they saw in the movie Sideways
7. Wearing collared dress shirts with the Led Zeppelin logo on the back (with optional front breast pocket to hold their harmonica)
8. Riding two-wheel Segways on tours of every city on the planet
   

For that last reason alone, I've avoided Segways.

They just seemed bulky and clunky and sidewalk-clogging.

I figured Segways were built for two reasons:

(a) so we could force monkeys to find land mines in war-torn countries

(b) as a public service to people who refuse to use their legs anymore due to old age or sloth

Now I'm pleased to report that, man, was I ever wrong.

My favourite "bit" from comedian Louis C.K. involves air travel. After describing the various complaints of passengers -- delays on the tarmac, malfunctioning Internet access -- he puts it all in perspective:

"What happened then? Did you fly through the air like a bird, incredibly? Did you soar into the clouds, impossibly? Did you partake in the miracle of human flight and then land softly on giant tires that you couldn't even conceive how they f**king put air in them?...You're sitting in a chair in the sky. You're like a Greek myth right now."

But there is a lot to complain about when it comes to air travel, mainly because we've become accustomed to having so many options: Fish or chicken? Movies, TV or music? Checked bags or carry-on? That's why the outcry was so deafening when we started having to pay for in-flight meals, and movies, and pillows and blankets, and carry-on luggage...OK, it is getting out of hand. Clearly the airlines, who have no one to blame but themselves for creating an atmosphere of entitlement, are working hard to lower our expectations.

Our in-flight option of choice, however, is fast becoming Wi-Fi access (pictured above). According to a recent survey of a thousand travellers by travel search site Skyscanner, 60 per cent would choose wireless Internet service over an in-flight entertainment system. (Thirty-seven per cent said they would go with the entertainment system, while the remaining 3 per cent would presumably read, chat or stare at the back of the seat in front of them, Puddy-style.)

Want to hang out in Cleveland this weekend?

I'm going to stare at Mick Jagger's gonch, of course, in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum. Why? Because IT'S THE LAW IN OHIO. The moment you land at Cleveland's airport, burly customs agents order you to report to The Hall.

But the main reason I'm flying to Cleveland is infinitely stranger. I'm flying in to see 'Canterlot Gardens' which bills itself as "the premiere Ohio fan convention" that's "built by pony fans, for pony fans" of the animated TV series 'My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic'.

Fans at a My Little Pony convention in New Jersey. AP Photo/Mel Evans

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is a kids show, created by Hasbro, that's designed to entertain/sell toys to impressionable girls aged 2 and up. Now in its third season, the show is about a unicorn pony named Twilight Sparkle who lives in Ponyville where she learns about friendship from five other ponies named Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie.

Where I grew up, farm kids dropped acid and watched their horses change colours, so My Little Pony is practically a documentary to me.

When I first heard about Toronto's new "Before I die" chalkboard wall (pictured below), a couple recent MSN writing assignments sprang to mind.

Over the summer, I put together two "bucket list" photo galleries -- one global, one Canadian -- covering "10 places to visit before you die." It was really tough whittling down the options, what with my personal preferences and aspirations being at odds with the objectivity and fairness the lists required. 

So when I heard that the wooden hoardings surrounding yet another condo construction site had been blacked out so passersby could record just one pre-death aspiration, well, I thought I had better take a look.

The city's 10th annual Latin American Film Festival (VLAFF) opened on Friday night at the Empire theatre in downtown Vancouver. The VLAFF's opening film, a comedy called JUAN OF THE DEAD (which I wrote about last year) gave us a hilariously ghoulish peek at what Cuba will look like come the zombie apocalypse.

I'm pleased to say 'fue un éxito masivo' (it was a massive success). Juan of the Dead is whip-smart, reliably funny, inventively shot, and boasts clever gory effects. It also contains the funniest scene in cinematic history where a man dances for his survival because he's handcuffed to a zombie. GO SEE THIS FILM.

Before the movie started, a mariachi band played us into our seats. One trumpeter was so fun to watch, I vowed to start a mariachi band. And by happy coincidence, it seems Mexico is opening its first ever mariachi school.